Responding to the call of the NHS Nightingale, but at what cost? An auto-ethnography of a volunteer frontline mental health trainer's experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Healthcare workers, globally, volunteered time and skills to the COVID-19 pandemic frontline response. In March 2020, the predicted high demand for extra critical care beds led to the rapid construction of the UK National Health Service (NHS) Nightingale field hospital, London. I volunteered to develop and deliver psychological preparedness training - coined 'Psychological PPE' - to over 2300 frontline staff over an 8-week period. Existing research has identified broad themes of the impact working on the COVID-19 frontline has on healthcare workers but does not capture in-depth accounts of individuals' experiences. Using autoethnographic enquiry, this research explores my frontline experience at the NHS Nightingale during this time, and the personal impact this had on me. Reflexive thematic analysis explored themes of recognition and sacrifice, emotional lability and fragility, and the impact of transitions. Findings inform personal recovery, as well as future research and policy development pertaining to the sustainable recovery of our NHS people.