Previous research saw older gay men as subject to structural marginalization of ageism but yet possessing agency to interpret aging in diverse ways. I move beyond this duality, drawing on the theory of defensive othering to understand how older gay men live with the aging discourse in the gay community. Informed by grounded theory, I analyzed interviews with 25 self-identified single gay men aged 50 or above in England inductively. It emerged that many older gay men found it difficult to escape the discourse that marginalizes the aging body. Even when they argued they were the exception and "looked good," they were discursively producing a two-tier system: they themselves as the "good older gay men," as opposed to the other "bad older gay men," who "had given up." Such a defensive othering tactic seemingly allowed them to resist age norms from applying to them personally, but unintentionally reinforced an ageist discourse.
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