The quality of life (QoL) of patients with dementia was investigated from the patient's viewpoint, and the role of an acceptance of dementia in maintaining important and distinctive elements of QoL was analysed by questionnaire and interview methods. The subjects of the present study were 18 patients, 21 family members and eight members of staff at a day-care facility in Japan. Patients with dementia hoped to maintain an 'ordinary' way of life. Living peacefully, living together, living healthily and helping each other were considered by patients with dementia to be the important elements of their QoL. Living happily in the present is important, but hopes and expectations for the maintenance of human values in their future lives are of greater importance in their estimation of QoL. Through recognizing these needs, a culture and understanding of 'living with dementia' can be nurtured. A dynamic process involving the mutual acceptance of dementia in the relationships between patients with dementia, their families and care professionals enabled elderly people to surmount their initial troubles, and to recoup and activate their former humane attitudes. Positive thinking reappeared and new forms of relationships emerged. The patients, their families and the care professionals came to understand each other better and gained the sense of 'living together'. The process began with 'confronting' the situation and progressed to the final stage of 'acceptance': the patient with dementia was confronted with the dementia itself, the family was confronted with the elderly person as a human being, and the care professional was confronted with her or himself. At first, the care professionals had felt a sense of social responsibility for delivering justice, but they had gradually noticed that they were themselves relieved of the strain resulting from these attitudes. Acceptance of dementia by the care professional was important in carrying forward this dynamic process, which helps to ensure the desired QoL for the patient with dementia.

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